JSG : Toilets
Let me tell you a story. It was a regular day in Tokyo - the whether was unpredictable, the crows were monstrously huge and the women said "Sumimasen!" in very high pitches. It also happened to be my first day at work and I went to take a leak. Regular.
When I returned, my boss asked me if everything was okay and I said yes. But secretly, I was recovering from a blown-mind because I had spent 20 minutes exploring a toilet and it was nothing short of a wonderland experience, to say the least. If you're wondering what could possibly be that amazing about a toilet seat, let me tell you.
1. It is warm. And not because of the person who sat there before you.
On a cold day when you're lonely and unsure of everything, all you need is a hug. Of course, as a person suffering perennial hypothermia, who could only sometimes invade a Japanese stranger's private space with a hug, I often felt lost. But the solution presented itself in the form of a warm toilet seat. Sometimes I don't even have to pee, but go sit in the loo to be greeted with the most ambient warmth that makes the whole world more bearable.
2. It does the messy work.
In some parts of the world, they use tissues. In some parts of the world, they use water with a hand bidet or a mug. In Japan, the toilet does it all for you. You just place your butt on the seat, finish your business and press a button on where you want the water. And the (warm) water gets there with a required force, so that you needn't interfere in the process. Then, it auto-flushes when you get off your fat derriere. If that isn't bliss, I don't know what is.
3. It de-odorizes.
No matter who you are, your poo stinks okay? And you have to deal with the consequences of that. Unless you're in Japan and the toilet de-odourizes your butt/the room and you feel like sparkle-filled-jasmine-smelling fairy with wings.
4. It plays music! Really.
When you've eaten too much spicy potato the day before, you know it's going to get adventurous in the toilet. Unless, all your misadventures are masked by waterfall music or the Beatles and nobody in other cubicles/ your house/ your building needs to know. But then, a problem might occur when every time you hear The Beatles, it triggers your need to pee. But that's okay because who wouldn't want to live in the toilet in Japan?
When I returned, my boss asked me if everything was okay and I said yes. But secretly, I was recovering from a blown-mind because I had spent 20 minutes exploring a toilet and it was nothing short of a wonderland experience, to say the least. If you're wondering what could possibly be that amazing about a toilet seat, let me tell you.
1. It is warm. And not because of the person who sat there before you.
On a cold day when you're lonely and unsure of everything, all you need is a hug. Of course, as a person suffering perennial hypothermia, who could only sometimes invade a Japanese stranger's private space with a hug, I often felt lost. But the solution presented itself in the form of a warm toilet seat. Sometimes I don't even have to pee, but go sit in the loo to be greeted with the most ambient warmth that makes the whole world more bearable.
2. It does the messy work.
In some parts of the world, they use tissues. In some parts of the world, they use water with a hand bidet or a mug. In Japan, the toilet does it all for you. You just place your butt on the seat, finish your business and press a button on where you want the water. And the (warm) water gets there with a required force, so that you needn't interfere in the process. Then, it auto-flushes when you get off your fat derriere. If that isn't bliss, I don't know what is.
3. It de-odorizes.
No matter who you are, your poo stinks okay? And you have to deal with the consequences of that. Unless you're in Japan and the toilet de-odourizes your butt/the room and you feel like sparkle-filled-jasmine-smelling fairy with wings.
4. It plays music! Really.
When you've eaten too much spicy potato the day before, you know it's going to get adventurous in the toilet. Unless, all your misadventures are masked by waterfall music or the Beatles and nobody in other cubicles/ your house/ your building needs to know. But then, a problem might occur when every time you hear The Beatles, it triggers your need to pee. But that's okay because who wouldn't want to live in the toilet in Japan?
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